Family Life After Death

Following the death of a Friend or Family member,

Joannie (1945 - 2018)

We often get together for a "Celebration of one’s life". However, I guess we should live every day as if it is our last and celebrate the happiness of being alive.

A month ago my dear friend Joanne,  passed away quickly with cancer
The last month it has been and eye-opener to what happens after our death. Yes, there’s a great deal of sadness by all. Family tend tp come together to share the loss. But this blog is to look at our material world in which we live, and seems, to often , is to ask the first question of “What’s going to happen to…… “. and thoughts turn to land, home, belongs and everything but helping others to cope with this very sad time. Over the years we accumulate a great many things from gardening and home repairs to personal belongings like clothing, music and even Make-up. Sad, but even on her hospital death bed, a family member asked "Can I have her ring, which she is wearing" She was thinking of those she would leave behind as she made arrangement for me and her dog to remain at the Homestead.

Missy

Today, a month later, I still live at the Homestead where we shared accommodations. Her granddaughter was explaining my presence to Friends and said “ This is JJ, (John James) My grandmother’s friend" 

 For the last month I have worked to prepare for the coming " Celebration of Life" gathering and take care of Missy who was very much attached to Joannie. I have introduce her (Missy) to the Dog Park and everyday it is her moment of joy.  When 5pm arrives she will start asking me for the car and if we are going.

Since, last month there has been much work in the preparation for the Her "Celebration of life"   Yes there was regular charge to do

Missy at Dog Park

like cutting the lawn but during our life together, we lived with the acceptance of things in  certain places, It seem that everything gathered in the long (40 foot) porch, and when several people are coming to the house for this sort of celebration; everything must be put put in its place. The entrance porch was full,  Yes, I mean full of everything over the past few years had come from the car from somebody moving, or just brought indoors due to bad weather. Where to put everything.  The house was also full of things which we collect and make up our life.

Joannie Loved Flowers

Finally, the 11 August arrived,  the day for the "Celebration of Joannie's Life". Sunny and  everyone seem there as the yard was completely fill with vehicles of friends family and neighbours.  Some were missing like her Son from Alberta and a sister, but all who knew her over the years came to celebrate and share the lost.

Joannie,  my friend, (photo)  loved roses so in her entrance

as a gift, I planted two rosebushes which I was happy to do.  Of course, now her residence will become the residence her grandsons and whether theses rosebushes are care for or not doesn’t really matter because, I believe Joanne will be looking down and sees these rosebushes every day. Every day As I do my daily chores, of cutting the lawn and maintaining the property; I have this joy of her presence.

Family Friction ??  Yes, after a month, I guess there was certain to be friction in the family who waited for the decision of the missing Last Will. But in general the gathering was friendly. Each had their own interest and certain  family members wanted to know what was promised to them.  Actually all celebrated "her life" as she lived it. "Loving everyone and always having a good word to say about everyone." 

Morning Flowers

Today, Everything is now over, myself, I  do the regular choirs (feeding  dog and cat and regular cleaning) and placed flowers on the kitchen table every morning which was  one of her joys. Although, the photos with her urine of ashes still cover the living room table I find the house empty.  . However, with the exception of a couple family members which have work very hard over the last month and  now come daily to divide  all of Joannie's belongings; most of the family members coming are people gettng their share of what my friend Joannie left behind.

Where the celebration of life was cars and  over 80 people,  often people which were not seen during  the last week or months of her life; this last week has been trucks and  the continual question, “Can I have this or can I have that ?” To watch a truck load of furniture or  bedroom thing drive out of the driveway I can only think “They certainly must have a a bed at home". or "Do they really need that or is it something that can be sold" That is life after our DEATH ?  "Who is going ot get what "

Rest in peace my dear friend.

 Of Course, you know, that those that you leave behind all still  have their day-to-day problems; which you are now free from, but even in these time; we still think of you and miss your presence.  Dear Friend it will not be the same.